The Funniest Book I Have Ever Read, and I'm not even half-way done with it.

I realize that, for a blog called "Worse than Hitler" I write a lot about things at are substantially better than Hitler. And the following is no exception. Bob Powers' book Happy Cruelty Day: Daily Celebrations of Quiet Desperation is a soul-blasting inferno of black humor and absurdity that cries out for recognition. It lists 365 alternative holidays to celebrate for each day of the year. For the most part, they end up being intensely dark short stories about terminally dysfunctional characters (always referred to in the present tense, second person singular) trying to scrape a fragment of happiness or validation together while caught between the grinding, merciless teeth of a cold, ravenous universe. The stories are rarely more than a page long, but the impact, both in comedic power and pure angst, lingers long after you've finished reading them. So far, my hands-down favorite is January 11th's "Fourteen Ways to Tell a Cajun Chef to Go Fuck Himself" Day, which is as funny as the title suggests, but also a strangely moving sketch of grief...and crawfish.

To illustrate my point, I'm posting one of the shorter entries, for my own birthday, September 29th: "Redefine Hell With Every Waking Moment of Your Life" Day:

"This has got to be as close to hell as you can get," you say from your shared cubicle, drenched with sweat from the crammed-to-the-ceiling subway ride you endured to get to work this morning. "I even feel a little shakey with longing for the substances to which I've grown addicted," you say aloud, proving you might also be losing a grip on your frame of mind. "And to top it all off, I have this nagging suspicion I'm going to die with a false sense of entitlement, owing to the innate talent I have always possessed but never applied to any project of real and obvious substance. This has gotta be the definition of hell, right?"

Just then, you'll be mouth-raped by an elderly man. "I stand corrected," you'll say.

Happy "Redefine Hell With Every Waking Moment of Your Life" Day!

(I hope this fucker doesn't sue me for reprinting this: I'm trying to move units, here!)