Wednesday, January 31, 2007

America, you're begging for another 9-11attack.



Epic Movie? Seriously? Number one movie in the country with a 18.6 million dollar opening weekend? What the fuck is wrong with you people?!?! Didn't anyone notice during the trailer that this movie doesn't have any actual jokes in it? Having a guy dress up like Borat and say Borat's catch phrase is not humor. It says "Hey, remember that funny movie that came out four months ago? Here's a guy pretending to be him!"

What the hell kind of comic mind sits down and thinks: "Hey, you know that scene in Superman Returns when a bullet bounces off Superman's eye? Wouldn't it be hilarious if, instead, the bullet didn't bounce off his eye, like he was a normal person? Then, we could do a scene where Superman tries to use X-ray vision, but doesn't!"

Not only is this film a parade of pop culture references without any comedic context, it's not even true to it's stuper-tarded title. Epic Movie? In what way are Borat and Nacho Libre epic films? In no way. The only thing that connect the films being "parodied" (to drain any meaning from the term) is that they have all been released in the last eighteen months. That's the degree of respect the makers of this shit show towards their pudding-noggined audience: they couldn't reference Lord of the Rings or Spider Man or, god forbid, Star Wars because the cretinous fourteen year olds in the audience can't even remember what they had for breakfast, let alone a movie they saw more than one summer ago.

I mean, Christ, people! Epic fucking Movie? Bring on the dirty bombs, Al-Qaeda.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

ha ha ha

that is the best thing i've seen or read. ever.

matthew christman said...

Gant loves it when I call for terrorist strikes against America.